Darkest Night of the Year

Winter Solstice, that's what I am talking about! Not a personalized depression. Although, in years past, my winter blues definitely hit a peak, or perhaps I should say a low about this time. My friend Larry says that Christmas just isn't the same this year. I am halfway cheerful, I have almost all my shopping done, and most of that actually wrapped. I don't walk around muttering "I hate my f'ing life", life seems to actually be liveable.

Weird.

Because usually this time of year, I haven't started shopping yet, I haven't put a tree up, I haven't had a chance to even think about Christmas except in a "looming" ominous sort of a way. On December 24th, I would be found slumped over a cart in WalMart, listlessly pushing my way through the crowds, blinking back my tears. My friends Lisa and Larry would accompany me, not because they had any shopping to complete, but it was their way of supporting me. They would pull things off the shelf, shove them in front of my lowered head, and tell me that so and so would love this. I would blink blearily at them, ask "Really? Do you think so?" and then put it in my cart and shuffle on.

A holiday tradition. It just isn't the same without it.

But just for old times sake, I am saving just a couple of presents until the last minute, I just have to see the frenzied shoppers on Christmas Eve, buying all those inappropriate last minute selections that they agonize over for a full 10 seconds before moving on.

Or maybe I won't, maybe I will finish on December 23rd, or even the 22nd. What is my world coming to?

Ready for a New Life

It is cold here, really really cold. I am not much of a cold lover, my feet get cold easily, my hands get cold easily, my face turns red and chapped looking in the cold. Give me some warm. It doesn't have to be really hot, at least not all the time, and I am not that fond of sweltering, but I would rather live in Hades than Antartica. Any day.

However, I seem to be menopausal, which means I alternate between hot and cold. In the nighttime, this translates to "covers on" , "covers off", "covers on", "covers off", all night long. It gets tedious to say the least, and definitely is not conducive to a good nights sleep. Where was I?

I was talking about moving, someplace warm, like Arizona.

I helped Missy Hollywood thaw out her frozen pipes today. She has a slumlord who really doesn't give a shit about the condition of the house she lives in. When she first moved in, the place reeked! Absolutely Stank to High Heaven! We found out later that the former renters had formidable amounts of people and animals that lived in the teensy one bedroom house, including chickens!

I draw the line at chickens.

Anyway, her slumlord is in Arizona for the winter, which is why I went over to help her. Poor little thing, she had the flu, she had been puking, hot and cold chills (but not menopausal at 36), and the last thing she needed was to have frozen water pipes.

So I filled up the propane tank heater, took it over, put it under her house, had her turn all her taps on halfway, and then we waited.

After about 15 minutes, the water started gushing.

She looked like hell by the way, did I mention that? Poor thing, made me want to mother her. Having the flu absolutely sucks.

The water is running, I tell her to leave her taps at a slow dribble, and I go home. I have the heat in my house cranked, but I am still cold.

I am leaving in the morning to join her slumlord in Arizona........